well it's exam period... :: well exam period started, i have to get myself ready for exams, but i have that ' i donnwanna' feeling of course.
:: thanx to a guy from info2k2, i've got REM's monster album, and i can listen to my favourite bang and blame song, here's the lyric of it:

If you could see yourself now, baby
It's not my fault
You used to be so in control
You're going to roll right over this one
Just roll me over, let me go
You're laying blame
Take this as no, no, no

You bang, bang, bang, bang and bang,
blame, blame, blame
You bang, bang, bang, bang and bang,
It's not my thing so let it go.
If you could see yourself now baby,
the tables have turned
the whole world hinges on your swings
your secret life of indiscreet discretions
I'd turn the screw and leave the screen,
Don't point your finger,
You know that's not my thing

You came to bang, bang, bang, bang and bang,
blame, blame, blame
You bang, bang, bang, bang and bang,
It's not my thing so let it go.

You've got a little worry,
I know it all too well,
I've got your number,
but so does every kiss-and-tell
who dares to cross your threshold,
or happens on your way,
Stop laying blame.
You know that's not my thing.

You know that's not my thing,
You came to bang, bang, bang, bang and bang,
blame, blame, blame
You bang, bang, bang, bang and bang,
It's not my thing so let it go.
You bang, bang, bang, bang and bang,
blame, blame, blame
You bang, bang, bang, bang and bang,
It's not my thing so let it go.

You kiss on me, tug on me, rub on me, jump on me,
you bang on me, beat on me, hit on me, let go on me,
You let go on me.

:: Bang and blame by R.E.M

:: these lines and the music reminds me the days when i was traveling every second week with try to my a city (where i was actualy bored). the trip took me 5 hours to one direction, so it was a bit tiring, so i always listened to my walkman. Tho this song was released when i was still living in that city, and watched it's video clip on - commercialized - MTV Europe. Oh, those were the days, when my favourite band was nirvana, funny to listen to these songs now, gives you a very strange feeling - it's like when you are flying w/o wings. Hmm, wonder where and what are my old friends doing right now? i think i'll just get my nirvana albums from somewhere, and will listen to them all day long - a little bit sentimantal ah? well my 'newest' birthday is just comming up (if you still haven't realised you can count out my date of born from uptime).
'why am i still here?'
'what will the uknowness bring?'
'do i exist?'
well these are the questions that are running in my head all day long - 'like a splinter in my mind' - starting to get a 'bit' crazy, others says that i am already (and they must be right).
:: is there an ending? nobody knows, everybody's doing his shit, trying to push it away, while it gets bigger and bigger - nobody admits this, but to be honest (at least to yourself) 'would you?'
:: 'i see pictures in my head, that are from my past or future, cannot handle them, cannot explain them, cannot describe them - i got used to them'
:: 'you are dreaming about something, and when you are there... well you just don't realize it that you are actually there, and you miss the moment - all day, everyday.'

... See you spacecowboy!