having a shock of reality
:: today i've got shocked, locked and so i blocked. i'm having a cigar and mint chocklate. haven't slept for the last 40 hours, and i feel that i won't be able 'till i totally freak out... it's 'funny' that i always and up like this.
'is this the end? do i fucked it up once and for all? i feel like a stranger - again - can you recognise me?'<br>
:: 'waiting for a miracle, and when it's there you just can't move'<br>
:: the more day it goes the more i feel that i should stop breathing.<br>
:: 'there was a man,<br>there was this white man,<br>he was so upset because of the changes that were coming to his country.<br>he was upset because the ones who were earlier under him, were not supposed to be as equals.<br>i feel sorry for the man so i wrote you this.<br>because i thought that it must be hard, when in your whole life, you heart, you learnt you belive it that some people are over other people, some people have more values than other people, and then the world <b>changes</b> and you have to realise we are all the same... it must be hard...'<br>
:: "I have fought against white domination, and I have fought against black domination. I have cherished the ideal of a democratic and free society in which all persons live together in harmony and with equal opportunities. It is an ideal for which I hope to live for and to achieve. But my lord, if needs be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared <b>to die</b>." 
 - from Nelson Mandela's statement from the dock at the opening of the defence case in the Rivonia Trial, Pretoria Supreme Court, 20 April 1964. <a href="http://www.anc.org.za/ancdocs/history/rivonia.html">more</a><br>
:: i just can't breath...